Death Part 2

After Tim died, I had so many questions.

One of them being why did Tim die and not me? 

Tim was one of the nicest guys I had ever met.

Yes I even had a crush on him growing up!

He lived a life that was good. 

Genuine. 

True.

He was a man strong in his faith with God. 

In my eyes, he was the last person on earth that deserved to die. 

Whereas I, on the other hand, had made a habit of living a not so perfect life. 

Especially in God's eyes. 

It took a lot of time for me to process everything that had happened and the 

choices I had made in that time of my life. 

However, eventually things started to fall back into place. 

I moved back to Bendigo where I continued to study and work hard.

I surrounded myself with good people, who helped keep me on track whenever I

felt myself slipping back into my old ways.

Dawn was especially good at that.

She had designated herself as an older sister and best friend to me, in Bendigo. 

We would often catch up for coffee dates and gossip about the latest events 

happening that week. 

She was so good to me. 

Definitely a better friend than I felt I ever deserved. 

So when she told me the news of her cancer, my heart broke. 

Dawn, always putting on a brave face and positive attitude, made me feel like I 

was more scared of the news than she was.

She was known around uni social groups as a short, tough cookie not to be 

messed with. 

I found her strength and life so inspiring!

So watching my biggest inspiration slowly waste away into bones, was the most 

heart breaking thing I have ever experienced!

I still remember the day she called me into the hospital to say my final 

goodbye. 

I remember it as if it was Yesterday. 

As I sat down next to her hospital bed, she turned to me with tears rolling 

down her face. 

The tough sister I had come to know and love over the past year, had finally 

broke. 

I handed her a letter I had written, and made her promise not to read it until I 

had gone. 

She then took my hand and said " I don't want to die. I'm sorry, I promised to 

take care of you and I've let you down."

I couldn't take it anymore, my heart shattered and the tears could not stop. 

Sweet dawn, even in her last hours, was thinking of everyone else. 

I reassured her that she had been the best friend I had ever had.  

I went on to say that even though it was never her job to take care of me, I 

appreciated everything she had done for me; and that she would always hold a

special place in my heart.

As I said my goodbye and gave her one final hug, she whispered into my ear 

"Don't let my ducklings forget me". 

You may think it was an odd thing to say, but you see, in our friendship group 

Dawn was always thought of as the mother duck and we were her ducklings. 

As I walked out of the hospital that day, I felt part of me die with Dawn. 

Part of me that would never be the same ever again. 

Looking back now, I realised it was my strength that had died. 

Watching the strongest woman I knew, become the most fragile body within 

weeks; made me lose hope for my own life. 

What chance did I have in this world, if the strongest person I knew, lost their 

battle?

It took me 2 and 1/2 years after her death to resurrect my strength. 

And now I try to live each day, for the memories of those who lost their battle 

before me. 

We never know when our time on this earth is up.

So we need to do our best to value the time we do have and try to make our 

mark in this world.

For Dawn, Tim, Samuel and Andy; they all left their mark on this world. 

Even though their lives were cut short, they all lived a life that blessed others 

and brought hope into our lives. 

And for some, that changed everything.